I turn 12 next Monday. But Booch,Pat and Dan don't want me to blow out candles
Don't point clicky things at Daddy and say "Kill All the Choos"(Reprint/edited from last year)
Reading time: About 6 minutes
Today is almost Monday, so I write dis cause Daddy reads all day, and never writes on Mondays. Plus, he is breaking on a vacayshun for his heart until about fireworks time, when I hide in the bathtub.
I am Kear and I am 12 on the following Monday, so HBD to my “Magic” litter of 10 poopies. We were magic, and we still are.
I just want to know this: “Will I still get tweets today?” Tasty ones, or you can write me “happy burfday” at IG:Kearsargenyc.
E.Cooper, 2024
Hooman daddy calls Booch, who don’t like Choos is still following Daddy in the street and elevator. He likes toy guns and maybe metal ones some day in the future too:
Last year, on June 7th me and he were attacked by a hooman who said over and over:
“Kill all Jews, kill all Jews, Hitler had it right.”
Then he pointed a long thing at Daddy’s head, then mine, and it went “click, click.” Then pulled a shorter one from his pocket, pointed it at Daddy, and it went “click, click,” too.
Then he talked about his fwend “Dick” and that he liked this guy “Dick” but didn’t have a girl for “Dick.”
“Hop,” is my pen name, but my true name is “Kear” and I am named for s ship called Kearsarge that Daddy’s daddy was on for 27 months in a place called Kowea, and Daddy’s lucky numbers are 27 and 5.
Here is me in my cool quiet place in the baffroom.
I was leashed to Daddy when da Hooman said silly stuff bout Hitler and dat he was going to fook Daddy up in da video above.
Also, I don’t like when the guy who likes Dick points things that go “click” at Daddy.
Daddy contacted da Commissioner’s office. Hasn't heard back from Jesika’s deputy.
Daddy won’t go to the precinct cause then all his neighbors will hate him for telling the truth. But the truth is Daddy doesn't get afraid easily. Dats a problem.
Daddy wants to talk to a gal named Tish. Or, bofe gals named tish.
What is it with tishes?
But Pat, the lady who owns the building, won’t surrender the movies they made of Booch talking about Hitler in those little eye-things mounted on the elevator and wall of the room I go through before we get outside. Her name is Pat (pjohnson@communityaccess.org).
Now Daddy wants all her texts and emails, too, cause Pat said:
no anti-Semitism policy
Daddy can’t put up his doggy camera in the hallway to watch for Booch
Daddy can’t use side door when Booch is stalking him
Daddy wants the movies to show the Tish ladies, and Dan Goldmantoo, but Pat says she has “we have a policy.”
Daddy says Booch hates me too, cause I help Daddy with his balance, and I wear this medal on my collar that Hizzoner gave me when I was a puppy, cause I am real and I earned it:
Some states have passed laws to protect me, but it’s a rare NYPD uniform that knows either Federal law, NYS laws meant to protect SDs and SDHs from assault, or the now defunct NYC DOH program that registered SDs with proof of medical need and training.
Some states have passed laws to protect Daddy too, but da guys in blue don’t seem to know this law called Penal Law 242.
As a Service Dog, I can say, with eleven years of experience: I can only rely on myself, not the law, not the Courts, not the DOJ, not NYPD under Captain Adams, and not my “representative.”
Not, Pat, either. Maybe Tish, or one of them.
But Dan’s staff is not too busy to ask Daddy for votes, because Dan, whose Daddy’s grandpa made blue jeans, needs Daddy’s vote on Tuesdays.
Dan has lots money but needs my vote.
Dan’s fwend Megan was very sorry when “Booch” pointed those clicking sticks at me and Daddy.
Not too sorry, cause dey never called Daddy.
moi, asking for a tweet.
Anyway, Happy Burfday to MOI!!
If you agree on Booch not liking Choos and not pointing and clicking sticks at Daddy:
Tweet:
@NYCMayor @NYCMayorsOffice @NYPDPC @NYPDChiefofDept. Not the @NYPD9Pct but also @TishJames. @NYCMayor claims all NYC agencies need to enforce the IHRA antisemitism definition, but I don’t think Pat Johnson agrees.
Call/email Pat Johnson at (929) 399-2388 or 212 780 1400 ex 7761 (she gave Daddy her numba)
Dis is me:
Da Dogist guy wit da camera, Elias, shot me at age tree on da left. Dad shot me at age 12 on da right. Still cute but I need a dentist.
Watch for me soon on tall blonde lady’s kashmir website. My fwend sells cool sweaters but I have too many so Daddy said let’s do favuh for gg and da Rose lady. Was fun.
Let's agree:
Dogs keep your secrets. He won't tell you that I am the strong, silent type. I never gossip and I never bark unless you try to take my stick:
Keeping secrets but not ready to share. Bond & Lafayette, at crepuscule, nightly.
We all should have grave reservations about people who do not believe all dogs are a sign that G-d exists;
Service dogs are an extra blessing;
If you attempt to harm my Service Dog, almost always without a vest, I will only worry about the jury because the lieutenant in #NYPD9PCT told me they don't care, and asked me “was he wearing his Service Dog vest?” on the day I walked in bloodied from an attack and da lootenant said that Daddy was being rood to his officer. Never going back to dat place again;
Always, always, first ask Daddy if you want to pet me—any dog owner, permission to pet. Ya never know. Daddy rarely says no, but Dad might if I am busy, if you are too young, or whatevah he feels like;
I belong to Daddy, he tinks. Really, he belongs to me.
Please, be nice to me when you see me. Ask Daddy first, he wears sunglasses and looks very stern. Not me, though.
Don’t point clicky things at me, and say bad things about the Choos.
Daddy was born a choo, is a Choo, and will die a Choo, and says “Mir zayan do,” every morning.
Kear (woof)— for Philippe (he likes dat name bettuh)
©Philippe du Col, 2025
Notes my Daddy Wrote:
1.Here are the Federal (ADA) and NYS laws:
Federal Law on Service Dogs:The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) defines a service animal as any dog that is individually trained to do work or perform tasks for the benefit of an individual with a disability, including a physical, sensory, psychiatric, intellectual, or other mental disability. Dogs that satisfy this definition are considered service animals under the ADA regardless of whether they have been licensed or certified by a state or local government, or any other entity.
2.NYS law protecting SDs and SDHs:
Article 242-Penal Law-Offenses against Service Dogs and Handlers
Here is a picture of da guy who I caught photo’ing Dad with a long lens from across da street. I chased after him, then he kicked me. He fell down hard when Daddy folded his wrist and he said “Nik and Niv” hired him. He said he used to be an adeeay in Brooklyn and a panel lawyer in Kweens too. Daddy explained da law to him and he limped away. Guess he didn’t report Daddy for the wrist lock, or da fall. Its been while, Daddy thinks he won't be back.
Now that I’m a pet, all you have to do is ask, Daddy. Tanks. See you at da red bench,
Hop & Philippe